Mid-nite Prayer

Dear God

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can; &

Wisdom to know the difference.

Amen

dAncing to different tunes each day

em suddenly feels very tired. all these noise. i think i need to take a step back 'n do some filtering. but wait. it's like alice in wonderland. d world is moving so fast that em has to keep running to remain in the same spot.

i thought i could somehow deal with this. gee, i just realized that em much stronger in writing than in person. je deteste all these charades.

perhaps, em just not in a very good state of mind. i used to be able to ignore it and just beaver in me own lil green patch but reckon that it isn't quite possible anymore. it's so agonizing but i guess that's part of growing up. LOLz. quarter of a century and yet em needs to grow up! fancy that.

having said that em more frustrated in that em needs to forego certain things, beliefs or even people that I value. is it worth it? i don't think it is but i don't know really. em still searching for answers. it seems easier to focus on tangibles. things that are able to give you the returns for the effort put in. to do otherwise would appear silly to some.

hey, it's appears silly even to self at times. but i can't deny. em continues being such because it makes me happie. although that in itself is questionable now. of all the things soothsayers say, em just hope they were wrong & em right bout you with eyes wide open. cuz walking away gets harder each day. well, like music; different tunes delivers different emotions, different phases for different cirsumstances, different places. which in turn is alot like life. else, how'd we know we've hit highs of the highs and lows of the lows. Testing; yes. Terrific; absolutely. recKon em juz hav to get better at dancing to different tunes each day.

em no dancIng quEen but

Trying em's best to be a tough cOokie amidst it all.

This is life; not heaven. You don't have to be perfect

Life and death, energy and peace. If I stop today it was still worth it. Even the terrible mistakes that I made and would have unmade if I could. The pains that have burned me and scarred my soul, it was worth it, for having been allowed to walk where I've walked, which was to hell on earth, heaven on earth, back again, into, under, far in between, through it, and above.

GIA Carangi

1960 to 1986

l.u.c.k.y versIOn 7.4

em wonders if jasOn mrAz & colbie knwOws what's their la-la-lu is all about. If so, would you give me the same advice as you would have if you were so on the state of things. Would you be objective about it. At times, to think that em has everything em wanted; em so happy that em terrified.

je ne sais pas. what gives.

v|cod|n refill sil vous plait