dAncing to different tunes each day

em suddenly feels very tired. all these noise. i think i need to take a step back 'n do some filtering. but wait. it's like alice in wonderland. d world is moving so fast that em has to keep running to remain in the same spot.

i thought i could somehow deal with this. gee, i just realized that em much stronger in writing than in person. je deteste all these charades.

perhaps, em just not in a very good state of mind. i used to be able to ignore it and just beaver in me own lil green patch but reckon that it isn't quite possible anymore. it's so agonizing but i guess that's part of growing up. LOLz. quarter of a century and yet em needs to grow up! fancy that.

having said that em more frustrated in that em needs to forego certain things, beliefs or even people that I value. is it worth it? i don't think it is but i don't know really. em still searching for answers. it seems easier to focus on tangibles. things that are able to give you the returns for the effort put in. to do otherwise would appear silly to some.

hey, it's appears silly even to self at times. but i can't deny. em continues being such because it makes me happie. although that in itself is questionable now. of all the things soothsayers say, em just hope they were wrong & em right bout you with eyes wide open. cuz walking away gets harder each day. well, like music; different tunes delivers different emotions, different phases for different cirsumstances, different places. which in turn is alot like life. else, how'd we know we've hit highs of the highs and lows of the lows. Testing; yes. Terrific; absolutely. recKon em juz hav to get better at dancing to different tunes each day.

em no dancIng quEen but

Trying em's best to be a tough cOokie amidst it all.